The experience of being primarily male attracted and dating/sleeping with a woman is so interesting and unique for both parties involved
You don’t need to read it if you don’t want.
Today, April 11th, I wanted to kill myself. Over something very small. Just a few words from my mother.
I emptied out my savings account, returned bottles, and picked up my check from work.
I had about $500ish total.
Today I was going to quit my job. I was going to work the day, quit, get gas, go home, put all my money on the table, grab a knife and go to my room and kill myself.
Today I was going to break up with my girlfriend because I thought we were fighting. Also because I wanted to kill myself.
I sincerely fear the fact that a few words were all it took to make me want to break up with my girlfriend, quit my job, empty my savings, and kill myself.
Background: my depression has not returned. I didn’t feel depressed at all today. I felt angry. I felt a cloud over my mind and even though I knew I was behaving irrationally, I still intended to follow through. I wasn’t sad. I was numb.This actually follows a pattern of getting angry, making irrational decisions, and making plans to kill myself. Why do I constantly self sabotage? Especially when I know rationally what I’m doing and that it follows a pattern.
As a bisexual, and therefore someone who’s often marginalised in both mainstream ‘straight’ society and the ‘gay community’, I’m still acutely that aware I’m actually quite lucky.
I’m lucky to be female.*
Friendly reminder that male bisexuality is still handled with appalling levels of hostility, prejudice, ridicule and mistrust.
Male bisexuals are shunned by LGBTIQA and heterosexual people alike and I am so fucking sick of hearing comments like “I just don’t think it’s possible for men to be truly bi” and “female sexuality is just naturally more fluid.” I have even heard fellow female bisexuals discredit male bisexuality.
It’s time to shut this shit down.
If gay men won’t stick up for bi men (and biphobic comments from figures such as Dan Savage are evidence that they’re not doing a good job of it), then I think it’s time that female bisexuals stepped in and stuck up for their brothers.
Please remember and acknowledge that male bisexuals exist.
They are not unicorns. They are real living, dying, breathing, loving people so show them some fucking respect.
I’m very confused about a few aspects of my life right now so if you’re interested, read under the cut (sorry if you’re mobile)